STOP dressing your LITTLE GIRLS like WOMEN!

It has been a year since my last blog.  I caught myself biting off more than I could chew.  People said this would happen to me; but, after all, I am stubborn and must learn for myself.  I took a one-year sabbatical, and to my dismay I discovered a culture within my own world that I have been blind to.  I have spent the last three years or so teaching young girls and women how to be aware of their surroundings---be safe.  What I never saw coming was the realization of how blind I have been to things.  I go about my day-to-day business helping others protect themselves; I pay very close attention to my surroundings in regards to predators (the bad guys).  You know the predators I am talking about:  the ones lurking in spooky alleys and stairwells.  However, over the past years (more like last week), I discovered there is a different type of predator.  It's called Clothing Stores and Mommies.

 

I have a young daughter, under the age of 10.  She is very active in basketball.  She needed new basketball pants, like the Nike or Adidas type.  I drop my girls off at school and then took off for an exciting day of shopping (please insert sarcasm on the word exciting, as I despise shopping!) I pull into the familiar chain store that I know has Nike or Adidas-type apparel.  I walk in and head straight for the girls department, after all, I am shopping for a young girl.  When I reached my destination, I also reached a state of horror, anger and sadness.  I did not find the common snaps-on-the-sides Nike pants.  Instead, I found racks beyond racks of YOGA-style pants!  Along with yoga pants there were sports bras and tight-fitting "athletic" tanks. 

 

PLEASE tell me why there is ZERO sports apparel in a LITTLE GIRLS department?!  PLEASE tell me WHY there are countless racks of YOGA PANTS and SPORTS BRAS in a 6-10 year old GIRLS department?!?!  Let me tell you WHY----because someone is BUYING them!  It's called Supply & Demand!  I am ALL about being healthy (as I sit here with a bag of cheese-puffs), but COME ON!  Tight fitting yoga pants on a 10-YEAR-OLD?!  PLEASE stop putting this image into your innocent daughter’s brain that YOGA PANTS are "sexy."  Why, instead of CLOTHING to make ourselves feel like we are contributing to our good health, we actually try putting down the Grande Latte's and Cheese Puffs!  Why don't we start simply cooking healthier and teach our children what a family dinner is?  NO!  That would require too much effort!  Instead, let's give them the impression that they either 1) all they have to do is where Yoga pants because they are tight fitting and hold everything together, or 2) that clothing is all they need to be sexy.  I'd like to know WHY 10-year-old little girls want to feel SEXY in the first place?! What about their INTELLIGENCE, CREATIVITY?  Now THAT is an attractive quality in young woman!  Yoga pants leave LITTLE to the imagination---especially for perpetrators!  Oh, let me guess?  I'm totally wrong---Yoga pants ARE sports attire?!  Sure they are---to an adult!  Please stop putting in the heads of very young girls that they must be obsessed with working out.  YES, they need activity---hitting the gym three times a week is a HORRIBLE thing to stress to a child!

 

Yes, I have yoga pants.  No, I do not where them in public (this rear was not made for yoga pants).  Yes, my children see me in them.  I am a mother of two who loves for things to not jiggle while I bounce around my house singing to the radio and playing air guitar; but they do not need to hear that!  All they need to know is that they are mom's comfy pants (and that they can have when they become a mommy!)  I do not dress my children in long dresses and turtleneck sweaters every day.  I allow them to dress themselves.  I let them be who they want to be.  I totally DIG the purple polka-dot socks with orange cargo shorts and a green and silver plaid shirt.  If that is what makes them feel great, then so be it.  However, if those cargo shorts were Daisy Dukes and the plaid shirt only had but one button---I'd come unglued like a caged lioness that’d just seen steak for the first time! 

 

All parents know that time flies.  Your babies are born, then the next thing you know they are starting college.  Time flies fast enough without your help.  When you are dressing your child as an adult mother would dress---very tight fitting yoga pants, and anything with spandex, you are instilling in her an unrealistic image.  You are unintentionally telling her she needs to dress and feel sexy.  You are making your daughter eye-candy for a predator and you are pressing fast-forward on her innocent years of life. 

 

Needless to say, I shop in the boys section for my little girls’ basketball attire. 

Farewell Snail Mail & Ringing Phones

     Ah, the good ole days of receiving that special letter in the mail.  I still get excited when I see a hand written envelope in my mailbox---although it comes on rare occasion.  Lately, it is mostly slander on an expensive piece of card stock.  I'm not going to lie, my heart skips a beat when I know someone has taken some precious time away from there day to send me a little "thinking of you," in the mail.  Time comes to a screeching halt and the world is suddenly silent when my phone rings with someone simply calling to say Hello.  I've been known on occasion to carry on conversations with telemarketers just to keep the familiarity of holding a phone to my ear, practice using my voice and yes, giving me a human voice to hear. 
     The world of technology has been wonderful.  We can find long-lost relatives, keep in touch with classmates, and stay current with the latest happenings.  However, it is instilling a deep void---one that is very hard to repair.  I recently celebrated my birthday.  I love my birthday; it is my holiday!  I am extremely blessed with caring family and friends who took time out of there day to wish me happy birthday wishes.  However, I still felt a deep void.  I received countless text messages.  I received Face Book messages from all across the globe---literally.  That made my heart smile!  However, my phone rang only once.  Of all the instant "I'm-too-busy-to-call-but-still-need-to-wish-you-a-happy-birthday" messages, it was the one phone call that meant so much to me;  it was the one hand-addressed card from Grandma.
     Take time to breathe.  Take time to cherish the small moments in life.  Take five minutes out of your day (even it's while you are multi-tasking), to pick up the phone and say hello to someone.  You never know when you will last see someone.  I can't speak for you, but, I know I would regret knowing I last text a loved one, "Happy Birthday. Love Yah!" and didn't have the decency to think you were worth a call.  I guess I have to question who I am.  Am I the type people do not like to call because they know they will be on the phone with me for hours?  Probably!  No one calls me!  They only "message" me! I like verbal communication (you know, the words that make noise).  It's a lost art....much like canning.  Just remember, when you are too busy for someone else, the time will come when they are too busy for you---and it hurts.

It's Called Freedom of Speech!

I have read several posts on social media sites such as Face Book stating that we are sick and tired of others political rants.  No, I have never posted a political comment on any social forum--although I'd like to on some days.  However, I welcome the comments I do see.  This blog is to everyone who either agrees with the comments, disagrees with them or are flat-out disgusted by them.  For those of you who live in the United States of America, it is a true honor and pleasure to have the First Amendment in place.  Under that amendment is something called Freedom of Speech.  There are limitations of course.  Under variations of the law certain types of obscenity, pornography, defamation and slander are prohibited (as it should be in my sole opinion).  Stating one's political views (given it does not fall under the latter categories) is our given right to Freedom of Speech.  Nothing says you "have to" read it.  Nothing says you "have to" agree with it.  That is the beauty of this country.
I may strongly disagree with you, but I respect your stance.  If it wasn't for you taking a strong stance on a topic, I may not know where I stand.  For example:  The Westboro Baptist Church "Clan;"  I strongly disagree with there message.  However, I celebrate the fact that they take a stance.  If it wasn't for them, I may not truly know how I feel about gays, our men and women in the military, their families and so forth.  Because of there strong opinions, I can firmly attest to knowing my position.  I would much rather have someone take a strong stance, then no stance at all.  I would rather you have a voice, then sit quietly in the background.  Your voice and your opinion gives me a voice and an opinion too---thank you.  I am a United States Citizen.  I celebrate the fact that I am able to have an opinion.  I am able to think freely.  I am able to express my individuality.  You may not agree with me---and that's the pure beauty of it.

Refletir

She has seen me laugh so hard I cry.

She has seen me cry so hard I purge.

She has seen me hit rock bottom.

She has seen me hide in a corner in fear for my life.

She has seen me love deeper than love has ever seen before.

She has seen me fall asleep with my phone in hopes the love of my life will call.

She has seen me grasp onto what may have been my last few breaths of life.

She has seen me in excruciating pain.

She has seen me at my proudest moment.

She has seen me at my weakest.

She has seen me work my hardest.

She has seen me achieve my ultimate goals.

She has been there when no one else was.

She has been my biggest cheerleader; yet my biggest critic.

She has picked me up when I was down, and kicked my ass when I couldn’t take anymore.

She will be with me when I achieve so much more.

Call me crazy when I say I love her. I have to. She is me.

Putting An End To FML

I am destined to make a change in this world.  This may seem like a rant to many, and maybe it is, but we must change the way we use certain words.  I am extremely bothered by something (and have been for quite some time).  I have decided that I have a voice and should use it to the best of my ability and speak up.  A change cannot be made if we constantly sit in silence.  How's the phrase go? "If you don't vote, you can't b#$%h."  So here it is:
The use of "FML," is degrading to some.  For those of you who are unaware of what FML stands for, it is F$%k My Life.  Here is what I see on a regular basis on popular social media sites:  "What a terrible day!  First thing this morning I woke up late for work! As I'm driving to work in a hurry I spilled coffee all over my white suit! UGH!  Then, it gets better...I was pulled over and given a speeding ticket!  Finally I made it to work only to find out they want me to work over-time! Geeze! FML!!!"
To that post I say this:  FML? Are you being serious?  Some people in this world would trade for your life any day of the week.  Men and women alike have been laid off and unemployed for quite some time.  They have lost their home because of non-payment resulting in foreclosure.  Maybe you should be thankful you have a job.  Over-time you say?  Those unemployed people would give their teeth just to be able to work 20 hours a week; and you my friend are complaining about over-time?  Oh, that white suit that you spilled coffee on?  Some cannot afford the coffee you spilled, let alone the suit.  Oh, the speeding ticket too you say?  The people who also lost their home also lost their car.  Whether you are driving a Rolls- Royce or a beat-up hooptie, you should be thankful you have transportation.
Let me tell you something else---someone just buried their precious, innocent child today to a painful disease.  Someone just lost their mother to cancer.  Someone out there buried their family pet, their best friend.  Someone out there was diagnosed with breast cancer today, MS, heart disease.  Someone lost a friend to suicide, depression, anorexia, car crash, or even an attack similar to September 11.  Now...are you sure you want to post FML?  Think before you post.
I have spilled coffee.  I have been pulled over.  I have had to work over-time.  I have rammed my toe into a door jam, fallen down the stairs and had a kitten stuck in my engine too (yes, all in one day).  I get a bit frustrated---then laugh.  I am too blessed in this world to state FML over spilled milk.  "If it is something we will laugh about later, why wait? Laugh now.  Life is too short."  You are very blessed with the things going right in your life to fret over the things going "wrong."  If there is something not going so well in your life, change it.  It may be a long, difficult challenge, but you can do it. Only you have that power.  (Oh, and get the word can't out of your vocabulary too please.  You can do anything you put your mind to.)
Side note: The kitten was rescued and given to a wonderful home---just in case you were wondering.

No Such Thing as "Society"

It has been nearly five months since my last blog visit.  I find it simply amazing what we learn if we take the time to slow down and observe.  Over the past few months I have been honored to see strangers emerge from the dark.  I have seen the weak become strong; the insecure become warriors, and the self-conscious become confident.  I have seen people fall prey to victimization; then rise from the ashes.  I have seen the affects of rumors; and the hasty emotional-roller coaster judgement can play on the human brain. 
I very dear friend of mine has had to make some challenging life decisions.  She made every decision with caution.  She made these decisions to better suit her child.  Although, she kept her decisions private because "some" would consider her decisions [below the standards of society]. I have seen this many times in my own life.  As human beings (not just youth), we want to fit in and feel accepted.  We try to live up to the expectations of society.  To those people out there who have fallen prey to the "standards of society," I want to ask you one question: Who is Society?  Really.  What I would consider "normal," may be completely below your standards.  What you may consider "normal," may be completely out of character for me.  Their is no such thing as "society," when it comes to standards.  We must stand up and stop trying to base our every decision on what society would expect of us.  I say that because there is no such thing.  We would constantly be chasing rainbows.  You will never meet every one's expectations.
I have had to learn this the hard way.  I discovered my own confidence and beauty.  I am very respectful to others opinions, but still rely on own instincts alone to make any decision.  Yes, I still ask for advice.  I think about the advice; weigh my own instinct with the advice and make a decision.  If you have a room of 10 people, ask for a solution to a problem, I can guarantee that not all 10 people will be on board.  With that being said, how can you possibly imagine to please society?  In my opinion, "society," would mean either the entire country in which you live, or those within a 50 mile radius of you.  Either way, you are planning to please thousands-upon-thousands of people...impossible.  So, instead of trying to tackle the impossible, why don't you tackle the possible.  What is possible?  Possible is something that I know I can do.  I know what I need to do right now.  That decision may change tomorrow, but that is MY decision. 
This has set in my mind.  I have mastered the gut-instinct within myself.  My instinct and me are now compadre's---yes, we are that close.  Over the past several months, I have been more successful than I have ever imagined.  I am happier than a bee in a pollen-infested season.  Only I know what is best for me.  If I do not live up to your expectations, that is quite alright with me...because I live up to my own.  Do you find it ironic that you are happier when you are pleasing yourself and not others first?  You will never make everyone 100% happy; so you might as well find happiness within yourself.
I know that I have loved, and have been loved.  I have had my good parenting days along with my bad.  What I have discovered though, is that when I love myself, please myself, I can love and please others.  I must come first---no, that is not selfish, that is human.  Love yourself first and society will follow you.  Be the leader.  Create the society.  You are smart, beautiful and strong.  Don't just say it, believe it...and the rest will follow---I promise.

The Body Billboard

You have an aura about you; it's something we can all see except for you.  Your words can tell me a lot, but your body teaches me something different.  You can tell me you are happy, but you wear a frown.  You can tell me you are in love, but you look down every time you say so.  You can tell me you love your job, yet you are out of sick days and vacation days. You can tell me you are fine, yet I see you look at your scars and bruises.  You can tell me you have confidence, but not with that tear in your eye.  Regardless of what you verbalize, your body tells your story.  It starts with believing, not articulating.